Core
Conditions of Interpersonal Relations: Carl Rogers
You meet someone for the first time. They shake your hand and you forget their name because you are looking into their eyes, sensing their sincerity, feeling their grip on your hand, and developing that first impression in just those few seconds. After these first few seconds, you decide to either, communicate further with this person or remain acquaintances. You decide to stay in the conversation and communicate further. This is where the foundation begins to build and a relationship forms. In Robert Bolton’s book People Skills: how to assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts, there is a chapter devoted to Carl Rogers and his hypothesis about the three qualities that are essential to constructive communication. I have defined each of the three steps below from the book:
You meet someone for the first time. They shake your hand and you forget their name because you are looking into their eyes, sensing their sincerity, feeling their grip on your hand, and developing that first impression in just those few seconds. After these first few seconds, you decide to either, communicate further with this person or remain acquaintances. You decide to stay in the conversation and communicate further. This is where the foundation begins to build and a relationship forms. In Robert Bolton’s book People Skills: how to assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts, there is a chapter devoted to Carl Rogers and his hypothesis about the three qualities that are essential to constructive communication. I have defined each of the three steps below from the book:
Genuineness: being
what one really is without front of façade; being honest and open about one’s
feelings, needs, and ideas
Non-possessive
Love (unconditional positive regard):
accepting,
respecting, and supporting another person in a non-paternalistic and freeing
way
Empathy: the
ability to really see and hear another person and understand him from his perspective
(Rogers, 1986)
The list of fields that these qualities relate to is
endless; doctors, nurses, teachers, recreational professionals, etc. What is it
that all these fields have in common? There has to be that that trust, respect,
and with everyone involved. As a recreation professional, I feel these
qualities play a large role in the experience that each individual gets out of
the program. I have posted a great video that shows how the use of a challenge
course provides the environment for these coworkers to learn about each other
and establish new foundations that they will take back to the work place.
It is my goal as a recreation professional to provide people with opportunities that will help them grow and all them to overcome fears that they never thought possible. Through the use of Genuineness I will remain myself. I will not put a front or act like someone that I am not. I feel that people are able to see right through that, which in turn hinders their experience. I will accept and respect each individual that I meet. With that in mind, I will do my best to not interfere with the natural growth that is needed (being a helicopter and doing it for them). Last but not least, I will strive to be as empathetic as possible.
Without all three of the qualities together, there is not
the spark.
REFERENCES:
Bolton, R. (1986). People
skills: How to assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts.
New York: Simon & Schuster.
The challenge course at James
Island County Park: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1BW87pZch0
